My Addiction
by Kazicle
Summary: PoynterJones: Danny has been suffering for ages with feelings that he just can't get rid of what happens when he comes clean? R&R!


_My Addiction There you were, just sitting there not a problem in the world. Whenever things were going wrong in any aspect of life you would make it seem somehow unimportant, small._

_I could never understand how you had the ability to do this but you did. It seemed that your biggest problems in life were things like what cereal to have in a morning or what shoes to wear. You just seemed to float through life, problems just bouncing off you like you were in some kind of bubble that nothing could penetrate. But you cared about other people and their problems. When someone had one you were, are, Mr Fix-It. That's why I don't think you notice me._

_Not properly anyway. You just think of me as your mate that also happens to be in a successful band with you because your life has no problems I reckon you think mine doesn't either. I wish you saw me properly, like I see you. I have been in love with you from day one, since we met. I remember it so well; you looked so nervous as you auditioned for the band. You had a green tee on and baggy three quarter lengths, your hair gelled up._

_You stood out from the others, there was something about you, what? I didn't know. I still don't, but its there. I knew then that we had to have you, I wouldn't settle for anyone else. _

_The others agreed I mean how could they not? The only thing we could find wrong at all was the fact that you were still young. You hadn't even sat any major exams yet but to you that didn't seem to matter. Like most things it just bounced of you and ricocheted somewhere else. Here we are 3 years later and you are different, but in a good way. Don't get me wrong you still have your immature moments but we always join in on them. Then there are moments when you're serious, which don't come round every two seconds right enough but they do exist. Most of all I love your moments of passion. _

_If there's one thing I love about you the most it's your passion towards things. Especially music. It just makes me love you more. You're caring too. You're the kind of person that phones and texts to make sure your ok. You keep up to date in your friends' life and at the sign of a problem you'll get on your white horse and save the day, you show people light at the end of their tunnel. Not long ago you showed me mine. One day I just couldn't take it anymore seeing you and not being able to have you. I was like a small child and someone was dangling sweets right in front of my face but I wasn't allowed to have them. _

_It was too much, I loved you so much it hurt. It was actually hard to breathe. Just one look from you was enough to send me and my small world into turmoil. Ironically you came to my rescue._

_You noticed that something wasn't right and you did something about it, you comforted me. I remember your exact words 'Remember whatever it is it's never as bad as it may appear. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. You're strong already and you'll get through it and whenever you need me, I'll be right here no matter what.' That was my light. You hugged me and left, my heart was pounding for what seemed like forever, but my mind was eased. I became like a chain smoker, I was heavily addicted to you, you were my nicotine. Seeing you was my fix._

_Now you were just sat there laughing at something Tom had told you while lifting up your drink taking a large gulp. You notice me looking at you and you smile mid laugh. I love that smile and I get to see it almost everyday. I just wish I was strong like you said I was._

_Strong enough to tell you how I feel and to finally act upon it after all these years of merely spectating. I have seen you come home with hundreds of girls and flirt with thousands more, each time a searing pain of jealously coursing through me. Each time I would try and look away, try and focus on something else but I couldn't. Now here we are I'm stuck on the merry go round circling the same thing over and over and over again playing the same tune. I can't get off not till I admit to you my feelings, so I am trapped._

_I sigh putting my face into my hands cursing myself in my head because I can't get you out of it. I then feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I looked up and see your face looking down on me a small smile playing on your beautiful pink lips that I long to touch with my own. You ask me if I'm alright and all I can do is look at the floor, I could never lie to you._

_You pull out the chair next to mine and sit down resting your hand on my arm sending tingles up it clearly trying to be supportive. This only reminds me more that I can't have you. You're the forbidden fruit. "Hey what's up? You look really down mate wanna tell me what's going on?" you ask in a concern tone. I smile to myself, loving that you're concerned about me. I can't tell you what's going on as much as I yearn to I can't._

_I just continue to stare at the ground finding my shoelace fascinating. I hear you sigh. Tears begin to prick my eyes. All I can do is bite down on my lip hoping that that will stop them from falling. I don't want you to see me cry but I don't think that matters_

_.A tear slips from my eye and falls on to my jeans the material quickly absorbing it leaving a small wet mark. I swear at that very moment you could hear a pin dropping. "Danny what's wrong why wont you tell me?" there's frustration in your voice now I can hear it. You get up abruptly land begin to move away. That's when I snap. "Do you really want to know what's going on?" I ask anger rising in my voice. He looks at me and shakes his head " Of course I want to know, I want to help if you would just let me" he says frowning._

"_Well you can't" I snap back, the merry go round in my head seemed to speed up. "Try me" you replied a stern look on your face as if it was set in concrete I knew it wouldn't move. "Fine, I love you alright? I am in love with you and its killing me. You only have to look at me and my heart feels like it's going to burst through my chest. It hurts, loving you physically hurts and I can't take it anymore. ALRIGHT!?" I'm shouting now. You just stand there, your face unreadable. I can usually tell how your feeling by reading your eyes but they're blank. Then you look me straight in the eye and say four words that bring my world crashing down around me._

"_You'll get over it"_

_Then you just walk off. I wait for the tears but they don't come, I think I'm in too much shock at my own outburst and your reaction. Like everything else it had just bounced off you. You were my addiction Dougie, one that had clearly got the better of me.   
Fin_


End file.
